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This article was first published for PinkLifestyle.com here.
Relationships can sometimes be very tricky to handle, particularly when you are a thousand miles away from your partner. Numerous problems may arise in a long-distance relationship, but acting wisely in such challenging times can be helpful in saving your relationship.
What are the most common long-distance relationship problems and how you should handle them? Let’s have a look.
1. Jealousy
Jealousy is one of the common challenges in a relationship, especially when you are separated from your partner. You can experience jealousy when your partner is out of sight, and you start thinking he is spending time with other people.
Though it’s natural to be a little jealous as it is a sign of your care for your partner.
However, too much possessiveness and jealousy are often destructive for your relationship as it usually comes with suspicion, insecurity and shame. So it is important to figure out how to control it before it contaminates your relationship.
Overcoming your jealousy
The best way to control jealousy is avoiding frustrating questions from dominating your mind. Your thoughts are fueling the jealousy and you can, with time and compassion towards yourself, learn to manage your thoughts.
Talk to your partner about concerns which disturb you but in a calm, and considerate tone. Trusting your loved one is another solution to get rid of your suspicious thoughts and important for a healthy relationship.
2. Insecurities
Long-distance relationship foster insecurities. It is usual for the doubts to make their way in your mind. Since you’re physically separated from your love, you start thinking: what your partner is doing?
Thinking too much often makes you anxious and the situation deteriorates when your partner does not reply back within seconds. Soon enough, you would find yourself in a condition where you start doubting your partner without any reason.
Dealing with insecurities
The best way to get rid of your insecurities is to understand that these are self-imposed thoughts and they have nothing to do with reality. Instead of cultivating insecurities, recognise that your partner may be busy or want to spend some time alone. Focus on your own life and making the best of your time to cultivate your own interests and nurture your career.
If you are still unable to deal with your insecurities and suspicions, you need to talk more openly and honestly with your loved one. You will feel a little embarrassing, but it will help you a lot in building your trust again.
3. Feeling like you have nothing to talk about
Do you ever feel that you’re having the same old conversations and have nothing new to talk about?
Lack of topics
To solve this issue: try to keep the chat going by asking some deeper questions. Get inspiration from 36 Questions or some books to develop an exciting and meaningful conversation. Don’t hesitate to share your feelings, even try painting a whole picture to express to your partner how you feel.
4. Lack of intimacy
It is a normal thing to crave for skin hunger from the lack of physical connection such as kissing, holding hands and definitely having sex when you can’t touch your partner. Maintaining sex life when you are far away from your loved one is challenging and having no sex for a long time makes you feel frustrated. There are many tips to rejuvenate your sexual life.
How can you build up intimacy?
Sexting is often helpful to build up intimacy while you are physically apart from your loved one. You might share pictures of your sexy body without revealing your face as it is necessary to spark your intimate relationship.
Masturbation is another thing that proved to be quite effective in strengthening your sexual bond. Masturbate together via virtual apps using different sex toys to add some thrill in your intimate relationship.
Fortunately, innovative digital technology made it more comfortable as many vibrators, and exciting sex toys are available, providing you with the opportunity to create physical interaction even if you are at a greater distance from your partner.
Exciting remote toys for long-distance sex
Moments of intimacy are vital for a romantic relationship. However, if you are separated from your partner, such moments are rare, but some digital sex toys can spice up your romantic relationship.
1. Moxie by We-Vibe:
For example, Moxie by We-Vibe, designed to be controlled by a free We-Connect™ app, allows you to have fun anywhere you and your partner want.
This is created to be worn under your clothes to intensify your pleasure. Moxie is an exciting smart toy having more than 10 vibration modes each having 10 intensity levels, teasing the vibrations to the next level of ecstasy.
2. Lush3 by LOVENSE:
If your partner is physically apart from you, but you want unlimited vibrations to take your orgasm up to the sky, Lush 3 is made for you. It is a wearable Bluetooth vibrator, allowing your partner to control the intensity of your vibrations, making long distances, much shorter and thrilling. Lush2 is easy to use and is provided with advanced Bluetooth connectivity, controlled by LOVENSE app, making your mornings, evenings or any time of the day mind-blowing.
Another one is the LELO F1s Male masturbator with 10-cutting edge performance sensors providing a realistic, penetrating sensation throughout the genital areas. It is designed to be connected with your smartphone and possible to be controlled from a distance by your partner via Bluetooth. It creates sonic waves which can be felt across the body, including the penis and you and your partner can visualize as your penis is wrapped for stimulation.
4. Lovense – Edge 2 App Controlled Prostate Massager
Lovense Edge 2 is used to stimulate the prostate and the adjustable head ensures that it hits the right spot. The bulb and neck have been optimized to provide more stability and even stronger P-Spot stimulation – this means hands-free fun and that it stays put! Like its counterparts, Lovense Edge 2 is App and Bluetooth Enabled which means it is suitable for discreet public play besides solo play or foreplay – it’s all play. If you’re up for prostate play, this is the one!
References
Andersen, L. (2019, November 19). Lelo F1s Review: The Future Of Sextech? Her Toys Review. https://hertoysreview.com/lelo-f1s-review/
Barinov, A. (2021, January 14). Insecurity in a Long-Distance Relationship. Couples Coaching Online. https://www.couplescoachingonline.com/insecurity-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
Borresen, K. (2019, April 10). 11 Pieces Of Sex Advice For Couples In Long-Distance Relationships.Huffpost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sex-tips-long-distance-relationship
Engle, G. (2020, March 15). How to Masturbate If You Have a Penis: 9 Tips and Techniques. Teen Vogue. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-masturbate-if-you-have-a-penis
Parker, M. (2020, August 7). 8 challenges long distance relationships face and how to overcome them. Healthista. https://www.healthista.com/8-challenges-long-distance-relationships-face-and-how-to-overcome-them/
Six Challenges of a Long-Distance Relationship – How You Can Overcome Them. (2016, October 26). ICALL | Free Telephone & Email Based Counseling Services. https://icallhelpline.org/six-challenges-of-a-long-distance-relationship-how-you-can-overcome-them/
8 Serious Problems in a Long Distance Relationship and How to Overcome Them. (2019). Humans. https://vocal.media/humans/8-serious-problems-in-a-long-distance-relationship-and-how-to-overcome-them
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.
Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Resident Sexologist for PinkLifestyle.com; as well appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
