Having children under the age of five can be a challenge for parents when it comes to navigating their sex life. Co-sleeping with children can make it even more difficult to find the time and privacy for intimate moments. But with a little creativity and understanding, parents can still enjoy a fulfilling sex life while co-sleeping with their children. Here are 10 ways parents can navigate their sex life while co-sleeping with children under 5.
- Establish a Schedule: Establishing a routine for when you and your partner have time to be intimate can help ensure that your sex life is not completely disrupted by the presence of your children. This could mean scheduling a specific time each day or week when you can have some alone time, or it could mean setting aside certain times when your children are in bed and you can have some privacy.
- Make Use of Technology: Technology can be a great tool for helping parents maintain their sex life while co-sleeping with young children. If you have a baby monitor, you can use it to keep an eye on your children while you and your partner have some private time in another room. You can also use video chat apps like Zoom or FaceTime to stay connected with your partner even when you’re not in the same room.
- Talk Openly About Your Needs: It’s important for both partners to communicate openly about their needs and desires when it comes to sex. If one partner is feeling neglected or frustrated, it’s important to talk about it and come up with a plan that works for both of you. It’s also important to remember that sex isn’t the only way to show affection and intimacy – cuddling, kissing, and talking can all be just as meaningful.
- Get Creative: When it comes to having sex while co-sleeping with young children, getting creative is key. Instead of trying to find time for sex when the kids are asleep, try finding ways to make it work while they’re awake. This could mean taking advantage of nap times or getting creative with positions that allow you to be close but not necessarily engaged in intercourse.
- Make Use of Childcare: If you and your partner need some alone time, consider enlisting the help of a babysitter or family member to watch the kids for a few hours so you can enjoy some quality time together without interruption. This could also be a great opportunity for your children to spend some time with other family members or friends.
- Take Advantage of Quiet Time: Even if you don’t have access to childcare, there are still ways to make the most of quiet moments with your children. If your children are playing quietly in their room or taking a nap, take advantage of this time by cuddling up together on the couch or taking a quick shower together.
- Get Out of the House: If you’re feeling cooped up in the house, consider getting out for a bit and going on a date night together. This could be as simple as going out for dinner or seeing a movie, or it could be something more adventurous like taking a weekend trip away from home. Taking some time away from the kids can help rekindle the spark between you and your partner.
- Talk About Boundaries: It’s important for both partners to feel comfortable with the boundaries they set for themselves when it comes to sex while co-sleeping with young children. Talk openly about what makes each partner feel comfortable and make sure that both partners respect each other’s boundaries at all times.
- Be Flexible: Co-sleeping with young children can be unpredictable, so it’s important to be flexible and willing to adjust your expectations. If your children wake up in the middle of the night or interrupt your intimate time, don’t be too hard on yourselves – just take a deep breath and try again when the time is right.
- Make Time for Yourself: Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining a healthy sex life. Make sure you’re taking time for yourself to relax and recharge so that you have the energy and desire to be intimate with your partner. This could mean taking a few minutes each day to meditate or read a book, or it could mean taking a weekend away from the kids to reconnect with your partner.
Co-sleeping with young children can be a difficult challenge for parents, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of your sex life. With a little creativity and planning, you can find ways to navigate your sex life while still providing a safe and secure sleeping environment for your children. By following these 10 tips, you can ensure that everyone in the family gets the rest they need while still keeping your relationship strong and healthy.
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About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.
She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).
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