These are three questions I found on the even site of Success 3.0:

What is the larger game that you are playing in the world?

What are the gifts that your unique self is committed to giving in the world?

What does Success mean to you?

I came across this event called Success 3.0 which takes place Oct 30 – Nov 2, 2014. I scrolled through the list of speakers and their profiles were amazing – CEOs, publishers, writers, authors, spiritual gurus, thought leaders, coaches, trainers, speakers, holistic practitioners – all of whom are social change agents in one form or another.

I realised the event was already underway, but free online streaming was still possible. I immediately forwarded the event to some of my friends asking if they knew about it.

Me: “Did you know about this? http://www.success3summit.org/ Freaking amazing speakers huh…”

One responded: “No but it looks good.”

Me: “Yes its so good it hurts. I want to be good at what i do too.”

Why couldn’t it have been me up there speaking and inspiring people too?

What would it take for me to be up there?

But more importantly, how can I be so good it is undeniable?

Instead of being envious and all jealous, there was something else bigger I was feeling.

It was a longing.

It was so strong it hurts.

I want it so bad.

Not necessarily only fame or fortune.

To be good.

So good at what I do that I can help more – even more – people.

Does that sound familiar to you?

Pay the price of getting good – put in the hours, do the work, work hard. We’ve all heard that.

It can be challenging when we have needs – food on the table, bills to pay, places to go and people to see; but our desire is what drives us.

Besides being passionate at what you do, and being good about it, it’s about being strategic in how you go about it.

I’ve been following my desires this year:

• Moved into my own rental unit
• Launched two online training programs, and working on more
• Signed up for numerous other online and on-site training courses
• Went on four one-week personal retreats
• Spoke at the 13th Asia-Oceania Federation of Sexology – but mainly to meet with my counterparts from Asia
• About to attend The Art of Feminine Presence teacher training which I have been saving for and intending to attend since last year

What desires have you been following this year?

By following my desires, I believe I am closer, even if inching, towards that fills me up and lights me from within.

I do need to be more strategic with my time and resources – don’t we all?

Therefore, there is a pain I feel when I think of success.

It’s a good one, and it reminds me of what I want, what I long for, and what drives me.

So, my friend…

What is the larger game that you are playing in the world?

What are the gifts that your unique self is committed to giving in the world?

What does Success mean to you?

This is mine.

1. What is the larger game that you are playing in the world?

I am a sexologist based in Singapore. I help people connect with their sexuality and their life force energy so that they show up as their fullest selves.

2. What are the gifts that your unique self is committed to giving in the world?

Working on my own evolution so that I become the best self I can be at any given time which includes meditating, exercising, expressing my sexuality, journaling, reflecting, so that I can be a light and in turn inspire others to be their best selves.

3. What does Success mean to you?

Being able to lead my life the way I am led to moment-to-moment, including saying no when I mean no and yes when I mean yes; and being able to be useful and help others lead their lives fully, and fearlessly.

Thank you for reading. Keep shining and listening to your Pain so that your Success will follow.

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Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and relationship coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com or email info@eroscoaching.com.