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My dad and I have a system when we travel on public transport.
When I take public transport with my dad, I would try to get onboard quickly to “chop” (get) a seat for him. He would be slower and his eyes would then scan the bus or train for me. I would gesture for him to come to me and take my seat. I might be standing next to the seat or sitting on it, and let him have it once he was nearer.
If he refused to take over my seat, I would glare him down and be ready to create a scene if he didn’t comply. I might not be able to give him all the riches of the world, unable to grant him the luxuries of travel, but the least I could do is make sure he’s safe.
I would usually stand if it’s crowded because it often was. I’d be unwilling to occupy a seat when it could go to somebody more deserving, and especially when I got what I needed: that the most important man in my life is safe.
Yet I could see the worry on my dad’s face to see me standing. He would turn and check on me several times. That’s when I realised he, too, was concerned about my well being. So I would occasionally sit next to him on the bus or train for the ride, and he would relax.
We would then sit in silence and check our mobile phones. But that, by itself, would bring a contented peace in my heart: we could just relax in each other’s company. Talk can always be left for another time when we are not in the presence of strangers who don’t deserve to hear our conversation.
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About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
