Date: 4 April 2025
This is what harassment looks like.
While I’ve been in the hospital since 3 April 2025, I received a flood of unsolicited, sexually explicit emails from a stranger. I have never contacted him. I never gave consent. He sent graphic messages, two face photos, and his WhatsApp number—despite me never replying.
Here’s the full sequence of what he sent on 3 April 2025:
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3 April 2025, 4:47PM
> “Regarding porn watching is good for me? I am not married. I masturbate by watching porn sites.”
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3 April 2025, 4:49PM
“I want to enjoy sex by watching porn? What is your reply?”
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3 April 2025, 4:51PM
> “Thank you I am happy by hearing from you masturbation is good. I remove sperm daily is it good? I feel good to masturbate.”
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3 April 2025, 4:52PM
> “By playing with my dick I love it”
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3 April 2025, 4:52PM
> “I’m 33 years old”
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3 April 2025, 5:07PM
> “Why I watch porn watching a lady nude by seeing their boobs etc I am enjoying it. I am getting sexual passion to masturbate is it good?”
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4 April 2025, 5:32 AM
> [Attached: Face photo #1]
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4 April 2025, 5:42 AM
> “This is my WhatsApp number +91 xxxxx xxxxx” (with same face pic)
—
My only reply (sent 4 April 2025, 7:42AM):
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Subject: FINAL WARNING – Your Behaviour is Harassment
Dear [Name redacted],
You have sent me multiple unsolicited, sexually explicit, and deeply inappropriate emails, along with your face picture and WhatsApp number. This is disgusting and constitutes harassment. Thanks for this. I will be using this content publicly as a teachable moment.
I am a qualified professional who happens to be a woman. I am not here for your sexual gratification. I did not ask for your fantasies, your questions, or your contact. What gives you the right to treat me this way?
Would you have sent these messages if I were a man? Or is it because I’m a woman that you think this is somehow acceptable?
Let me also make it very clear: I am currently in the hospital, dealing with serious health issues and taking time away from my practice and my life—and you are sending me this filth? How dare you.
DO NOT contact me again—by email, WhatsApp, or any other means. If you do, I will report you to the cybercrime authorities in India and Singapore. Every single email and image you’ve sent is being saved as evidence.
Would your parents be proud of this behavior? Is this how they raised you—to sexually harass women online? You should be ashamed.
Educate yourself: A professional is not your emotional dumping ground or sexual outlet—regardless of their gender. Never treat another woman like this again.
Dr. Martha
Dr. Martha Tara Lee, D.H.S., M.A., M.A., B.A. (she/her)
Relationship Counselor & Clinical Sexologist
AASECT certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor
Eros Coaching Pte. Ltd.
Why I’m Sharing This as a Teachable Moment
This isn’t just about calling someone out. It’s about calling out a pattern—one that far too many professionals, especially women, have to deal with in silence.
This is a teachable moment for anyone who thinks it’s acceptable to cross boundaries, sexualize professionals, or treat women as if they exist for their pleasure.
Let’s be very clear:
- Being a sexologist does not mean I’m open to receiving sexually explicit content.
- Being a woman does not mean I owe anyone attention, validation, or a reply.
- Being in a helping profession does not make me your dumping ground for fantasies or entitlement.
This is about consent, boundaries, and respect.
If you are unsure what appropriate communication with a professional looks like, here’s a simple rule: If you wouldn’t send the same message to a male doctor, lawyer, or teacher—don’t send it to a female professional either.
I’m sharing this to educate, not shame.
I want young people to know what digital harassment looks like.
I want clients and the public to understand the difference between professional support and personal access.
And I want those who’ve received messages like these to know:
You don’t have to stay silent.
This is what it looks like to hold someone accountable. This is what it looks like to reclaim space.
Power without empathy is dangerous.
When someone can’t grasp basic consent, can’t manage impulse, and doesn’t see others as fully human—they shouldn’t be trusted with access, let alone authority.
It’s not just ignorance. It’s entitlement.
And when we ignore it, we let that entitlement grow unchecked—into harassment, abuse, or worse.
This is why boundaries matter.
This is why we must keep calling it out.
Not just for ourselves—but for everyone who’s ever been silenced, dismissed, or made to feel small.
We deserve better.
And it starts by making it clear: This is not okay.
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.
She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).
For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
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