To Be An Effective Sex Counselor, There Are No Shortcuts

Posted On: September 18, 2024

To be an effective sex counselor, there are no shortcuts. Three core elements are essential:

  1. Strong communication skills: This includes language proficiency, presence, and charisma. For example, I have a Bachelor’s in Communications, which has been invaluable in honing these abilities.
  2. Counseling training: A solid foundation in counseling, such as a Master’s in Counseling, is crucial for guiding clients through personal challenges.
  3. Specialized sexuality education: Expertise in human sexuality, like my Doctorate in Human Sexuality, ensures a deep understanding of complex issues in this field.

It always baffles me how many people think just having a passion for sexuality is enough to be effective in this work. Passion alone doesn’t equal competence. I’m increasingly concerned by self-proclaimed sex coaches with limited training and sexual wellness influencers who may be popular but lack true knowledge.

Of course, softer skills like emotional intelligence, empathy, and listening are critical, and these develop with time. But without a solid foundation in communication, counseling, and sexuality training, no amount of experience can make up for the gaps.

We need to do better because we hold a deep responsibility and accountability for directly influencing the outcomes and lives of our clients. There’s no greater honor than witnessing their transformation and supporting them in creating the lives they truly desire.

As a Singaporean Sexologist with 15 years of experience as well as multiple books and awards under my belt, I offer a unique understanding of the Singaporean and broader Asian cultural context that you won’t find anywhere else. I’m passionate about supporting the next generation of helping professionals as part of my legacy, ensuring they are properly equipped to succeed.

If you’re serious about becoming a well-rounded sexuality professional, I invite you to explore my Professional Certification in Sexuality Education. I’ll be running this course for the third time in 2025, and I’m currently enrolling students. Don’t miss this chance to learn from someone who understands both global perspectives and the nuances of our local context!

Check out the Professional Certification in Sexuality Education here.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.

She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington PostNewsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sgOfZoey.sg, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013),  Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).

You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

         
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