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As a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist, I have spent over 15 years advocating for understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities. Last year, I began my journey into stand-up comedy, finding new friends and support within the comedy community. Alongside my co-organizer, Shaiful Risan, we have launched a sex-positive comedy show in Singapore. Shaiful, known for his commitment to inclusivity and advocacy against discrimination, brings his punk rock ethos and dedication to fostering open conversations about sexuality. Together, our vision is to break down barriers and create safe spaces for discussing sexuality with humor and respect.
What is Likely Funny in Sex-Positive Comedy
1. Relatable Situations
Focus on everyday experiences that are universally relatable.
Example: “Ever notice how planning a date feels like organizing a summit? Coordinating schedules, choosing a restaurant, and agreeing on the music is a challenge!”
2. Self-Deprecating Humor
Poke fun at yourself in a lighthearted way without targeting others.
Example: “As a sexologist, people assume my life is a romantic adventure. In reality, my biggest thrill is figuring out the best way to use a new vacuum cleaner.”
3. Silly, Universal Experiences
Highlight the absurdity of common situations everyone can laugh about.
Example: “Navigating modern relationships is like assembling Ikea furniture—exciting at first but ending with endless questioning of every decision!”
What is In All Liklihood Not Funny in Sex-Positive Comedy
1. Jokes About Body Parts
Avoid jokes that target specific body parts as they can perpetuate harmful stereotypes.
Problematic Example: “Why are men with big trucks always compensating? Must be because they have tiny dicks!”
2. Jokes About Sexual Performance
These jokes can shame individuals who may already struggle with performance issues.
Problematic Example: “I dated a guy who was a two-pump chump. By the time I got started, he was already finished!”
3. Body Shaming
Any humor targeting someone’s physical appearance is likely to offend.
Problematic Example: “Why do women wear so much makeup? Must be to cover up those insecurities!”
Creating Respectful Humor: Practical Tips
1. Educate Yourself on Sensitivities
Understand common insecurities about body image and sexual performance to avoid hitting sensitive spots.
2. Seek Diverse Feedback
Before performing new material, get feedback from a diverse group to gauge if your jokes might be offensive.
3. Stay Informed
Stay aware of issues related to body image and sexuality to craft more sensitive humor.
Our Goal
As comedians, our goal is to make people laugh and feel good. However, it’s crucial to ensure our humor does not come at the expense of others’ feelings and self-esteem. By focusing on inclusive, respectful, and universally relatable humor, we can entertain and educate without causing harm.
This guide is created in the spirit of sharing and love, supporting you in your learning journey. Mistakes are part of the process, and our aim is not to shame anyone. We are all learning together. Join us in creating a safe and enjoyable space for all.
Recap of Recommendations
emphasizing that these are recommendations
- Do focus on relatable experiences.
- Do use self-deprecating humor.
- Do highlight shared human moments.
- Don’t make jokes about body parts or sexual performance.
- Don’t perpetuate harmful stereotypes.
- Don’t engage in body shaming.
For more guidance on navigating sensitive topics in comedy or in your personal life, please subscribe to ErosCoaching.com and keep a look out for our next Sex Positive Comedy Show! Let’s work together to create a more respectful and inclusive world of humor.
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.
She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).
You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
