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As a Sexologist, I have worked with individuals with disabilities who are navigating the dating world. While dating can be challenging for anyone, it can be especially difficult for those with disabilities who may face additional barriers when it comes to navigating sexuality and intimacy. In this blog post, I will provide some tips and suggested scripts for navigating sexuality and disability in the context of dating.
Tip #1: Be upfront about your disability
One of the most important things you can do when dating with a disability is to be upfront about your disability with potential partners. This can help avoid any misunderstandings or discomfort later on. Here’s an example script you could use:
“Before we get too far into things, I just wanted to let you know that I have insert disability here. It doesn’t define me, but it is a part of who I am and I wanted to be upfront about it.”
Tip #2: Communicate your needs and desires
Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs and desires to your partner. This can include discussing any physical limitations or accommodations that may be necessary during sexual activity. Here’s an example script you could use:
“I just wanted to let you know that I have some physical limitations that may impact our sexual activity. But I’m open to exploring different types of sexual activity and finding what works best for us.”
Tip #3: Explore different types of sexual activity
There are many different ways to experience sexual pleasure, so it’s important to explore what works best for you and your partner. This may involve trying different positions or types of stimulation. Here’s an example script you could use:
“I’m interested in exploring different types of sexual activity with you. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to try?”
Tip #4: Use assistive devices
There are many assistive devices available that can help individuals with disabilities experience sexual pleasure. These may include vibrators, lubricants, or specialized positioning aids. Here’s an example script you could use:
“I have some assistive devices that can help us both experience more pleasure during sex. Would you be open to trying them out with me?”
Tip #5: Seek out resources and support
There are many resources available for individuals with disabilities who are navigating sexuality and dating. This may include support groups, online forums, or educational materials. Here’s an example script you could use:
“I’ve found some great resources for individuals with disabilities who are navigating sexuality and dating. Would you be interested in checking them out with me?”
Navigating sexuality and disability in the dating world can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that everyone deserves to have fulfilling and enjoyable sexual experiences, regardless of their abilities. By being upfront about your disability, communicating your needs and desires, exploring different types of sexual activity, using assistive devices, and seeking out resources and support, you can navigate sexuality and disability in the dating world with confidence.
If you’re struggling to navigate sexuality and disability in the dating world, I encourage you to come in for a consultation with a qualified sexologist like myself. Together, we can work through any challenges you may be facing and help you achieve a fulfilling and satisfying sex life.
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.
She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).
You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
