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Recently, I had a guy say this to me: “Men are taught to repress their emotions…”
Now, I’ve heard and read this many times but this time, I chose to ask: “How were you taught to repress your emotions?”
He shared: “I was 5 when I expressed my upset in front of my dad and some other men. My dad told me that what I was feeling was not important… and the other men also said something along the lines of just ignore it. This was my earliest memory. And so having heard that repeatedly… I’ve learned not to feel. And you don’t feel, this becomes the start of a lot of problems.”
I was blown away by his honest, vulnerable, yet succinct sharing. I was in awe of the depth of the problem that he (as place-holder of all men) must have been going through… and how finding their way back to their heart and emotions can potentially be a lifelong journey for some.
I remain humbled, compassionate, and willing to continue in my work of supporting men and women (all people actually regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation) to restore health, wellness, balance and sense of self.
Written: 2 August 2022
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
