Commentary: The Challenges of Raising Children in Today's World

As a Relationship Counselor and Clinical Sexologist, I often hear couples express their concerns about having children in Singapore. Raising children in today’s world can be a challenge due to the many changes in society.

Parents must be aware of the:

Increased access to technology, the prevalence of social media, and the ever-changing cultural norms.
The potential for cyberbullying, online predators, and other dangers that come with the internet.
The potential for their children to be exposed to inappropriate content, as well as the need to monitor their children’s online activity.
Importance of their children’s physical health and safety, as well as their emotional and mental health.

With so many potential risks and challenges, it is important for parents to stay informed and take an active role in their children’s lives, and a decision to have children is one not to be taken lightly.

With the current budget incentives for couples and those having kids in Singapore, it is important to understand how these incentives can help couples manage their finances and plan for the future. The increase in the Baby Bonus Cash Gift and paternity leave are likely to make a difference to couples who already have children and are looking to have more.

Even with these budget incentive, the stress of inflation is a very real concern. Inflation can have a significant impact on a couple’s sex life. When couples are struggling financially, they may feel stressed and overwhelmed, leading to a decrease in intimacy and sexual desire. This can lead to feelings of resentment and disconnection, which can further strain the relationship.

Have honest discussions around:

Finances and how they can best manage their money. This includes discussing how they will handle any unexpected expenses, such as medical bills, or how they will save for the future. Setting a budget together can help couples understand their financial goals and make sure they are on the same page. Having a plan in place can help alleviate stress and provide couples with a sense of security.
Plans for having children. Couples should discuss how they will raise their children, and what values they want to instill in them. Having children can be expensive, so it is important to consider the financial implications before making any decisions. This includes having enough money saved up for the costs associated with having a child, such as medical bills, childcare, and other expenses. They should also make sure they have enough money to cover the cost of raising a child, including food, clothing, and other necessities. Additionally, couples should think about how they will pay for college tuition if their child decides to pursue higher education.
Impact that having children can have on their relationship and sex life. Having children can be a major source of stress for couples, as they must adjust to a new lifestyle and find ways to balance their responsibilities as parents with their relationship. Couples should discuss openly how they will manage their time and responsibilities when having children, as this can help them avoid conflicts in the future. Additionally, couples should make sure they are both committed to parenting and making sacrifices for their children.

Specific action items to consider:

Researching and understanding the financial costs associated with having a child, such as medical bills, childcare, and other expenses.
Making sure to have a safe and comfortable home environment for the child, such as ensuring the home is childproofed and stocked with necessary items.
Creating a schedule and plan for how to handle daily tasks, such as taking care of the child, managing household chores, and working.
Finding reliable childcare options that are both affordable and trustworthy.
Developing a support system of friends and family members who can help out in times of need.
Establishing a healthy lifestyle for the entire family, including proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep habits.
Preparing for the emotional changes that come with having a child, such as adjusting to a new routine and dealing with stress.
Learning about different parenting styles and techniques to ensure the best possible care for the child.
Creating a budget to plan for future expenses related to the child’s education, activities, and other needs.
Taking time to relax and enjoy the experience of becoming a parent by spending quality time together as a family.

Having these important conversations can help couples feel more secure and connected. Couples need to ensure that they are prepared for the changes that come with having children and that they are able to maintain a strong relationship in the future. With careful planning and open communication, couples can make sure that having children is a positive experience for everyone involved.

Parenting is a rewarding and challenging experience, and taking the step to become a parent can be daunting. However, it can also be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. Being a parent means having the opportunity to shape and nurture a life, to watch them grow and learn, and to be there for them through all the highs and lows. It is an incredibly rewarding journey that will bring you closer together as a family. For those who are considering taking that brave step to become parents, know that you are not alone. There are countless resources available to help you along the way. From parenting classes to support groups, there are many ways to get the help and guidance you need. With the right support and guidance, you can be sure that your journey as a parent will be filled with many wonderful memories and experiences.

For relationship counseling and/ or sexuality counseling, do contact me here.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.

She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).