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Years ago, I asked to speak to my boss and asked a promotion.
He gave me invaluable input: “In order to promote you to manager, you need to already do what a manager does.”
It really hit home. I was waiting for opportunities to grow. I was keeping to my lot. I was working to the extent I was willing based to on what I was paid (tit for tat, calculative approach).
To be promoted, the company wouldn’t want to take a gamble on an untested and unproven person for the next level but only move a next-level person to the next level. Once promoted, they couldn’t easily demote someone.
I realised I didn’t really want to do the work of a manager. I just wanted a manager’s pay. And I definitely didn’t want to be doing a manager’s work based on what I was paid before I was paid that.
Do you have a similar attitude when it comes to your relationships? Do you wait or demand to be loved before you give love? Do you think of sex as a tit for tat thing (only give you what you give me)? Is it really love?
Expanding your heart and your capacity to give and love takes self awareness, healing and training. We need to love deeper and love without regrets because one day, we just might wake up and regret that we have all this unexpressed love and grief what could have been.
Love, love, love…
Love yourself more. Get relationship counseling support here.
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
