Eros Coaching

What is Trauma Bonding?

Posted On: January 5, 2022

Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. It occurs when the abused person forms an unhealthy bond with the person who abuses them.
 
Abuse is never your fault. Neither is the development of a trauma bond.
 
For anyone who may have developed a trauma bond, help is available. Many organizations provide emotional support and advice about staying safe, both during the abuse and afterward.
What is Trauma Bonding

What is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. It occurs when the abused person forms an unhealthy bond with the person who abuses them.
Trauma Bond Contributor # 1 – Attachment
When someone’s main source of support is also their abuser, a trauma bond can develop. An abused person may turn to the abusive person for comfort when they are hurt, even if the other person was the one who caused it.
Trauma Bond Contributor # 2 – Dependence
A person may develop a trauma bond because they rely on the abusive person to fulfill emotional needs.
Trauma Bond Contributor # 2 – Dependence
After causing harm, an abusive person may promise to change. Some may be especially kind or romantic to make up for their behavior.
Breaking a Trauma Bond

1. Focus on the present

2. Focus on the evidence

3. Practice positive self-talk

4. Practice self-care

Abuse is never your fault.

Neither is the development of a trauma bond.

For anyone who may have developed a trauma bond, help is available.

Many organizations provide emotional support and advice about staying safe, both during the abuse and afterward.

References:
What are your thoughts about trauma bonding? Do share your thoughts below.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.

Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

Related posts:

  1. 6 Steps to Sexual Trauma Recovery
  2. Recognise the 48 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse
  3. Overcame Vaginismus: “Martha is akin to a miracle worker”
  4. Misconceptions About HIV Still Common Among Singaporeans
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