When I was probably 5 or 6, I asked my mom what life had in stored for me. She explained to me the education system in Singapore – primary school (6 years), secondary school (4 years), junior college (2 years), university (2 – 3 years). I asked what was beyond university and she said that there was working life, marriage, parenthood, and then death.

What was incomprehensible to me back then was how boring/ routine/ fixed life was, and was that really the meaning/ purpose of life? If this was what life really was about, I was already bored out of my brains, and didn’t want any of it. Later, I wanted to drop out of school at Primary 3 (9 years old) going through the humdrum of the education system, hating it, not knowing any other way around it and continuing for fear of disappointing my parents.

I didn’t know it but I needed was just a different way of education. I really started to flourish at polytechnic (Diploma in Mass Communications) where for the first time we were encouraged to question everything about life, and what was around us. We were encouraged (even expected) to be independent thinkers and express ourselves in our own unique ways. We were celebrated for our differences, and not punished for non-conformity.

After my diploma, I started work and continue studying towards my Bachelor of Arts (Communications). Hard as it was (work-and-study), I enjoyed the flexibility and freedom of self-study; and later correspondence study (my Masters in Policy Policy and Management). My Doctorate in Human sexuality was correspondence + on campus. My Masters in Counseling was a combination of online + face-to-face (campus week). Today, I have four degrees and several other certifications. To me, it’s less about the certificate than the joy of learning.

I didn’t know it at first but it all made sense later. I preferred:

• Focusing on the content/ takeaways (cut through the bullshit)
• Quality rather than quantity interactions i.e. less classroom politics
• Self-paced (as and when available/ free)
• Independent learning (own time/ own target)
• Zooming into the learning not the comparing with classmates

I have since taken a bunch of online learning modules through Coursera and Edx and love it! To me, there is no stop or end to learning. I know so many people who stopped studying to work who think that that is the end of their educational journey, that they aren’t the “studying type”; that they can’t possibly go back to school.

I can be honest and tell you: I never was one to have good grades – I just did it for the joy/ pleasure of it. And you can too. I do notice how my grades got progressively better through the modules because my brain was just better at processing what I was learning – and it does take some time to get into the grove of things so do be patient with yourself.

I just hope for you that you find a learning method/ style that feeds and nurtures you, that serves/ supports/ works for you – if you so wish. It is possible to learn at your own pace. May all be well.

For life/ sexuality/ relationship coaching/ counseling, please hire me!