I didn’t grow up in a well-to-do family. I didn’t study in some elite school. Yet there is one thing I learned unconsciously from watching my parents: the “helper” spirit.

My dad used to volunteer in the neighbourhood residents committee (RC). One of the things I remember doing alongside him regularly was going door-to-door collecting newspapers to sell to the newspaper man as so to raise funds for the RC. My mom would also take it upon herself to impart her knowledge and words of wisdom onto relatives and friends – anybody who would give her time of day.

Through my growing years, it seemed my parents didn’t understand and couldn’t understand me: I was so different, so willful and too “westernised” in my thinking. I went through a long period of self-righteousness/ victimhood: “I wish I wasn’t born into this family”. I didn’t realise it then that I am more like my parents than I could ever admit to myself!

I played into the whole “Why me?” story until one day in one of my meditations, I went within and asked my intuition/ God/ Higher Self properly demanding an answer: “Why was I born into this family?”

The answer came and it was short: “If you weren’t born into this family, you wouldn’t have this heart.”

Heart? What does that mean?

At that time, I was going to embark on my doctorate in human sexuality (13 years ago) and determined to start a career helping people. I realised I won’t have this heart of compassion if not for my parents – I got it from them! And it was going to serve me in my life’s calling! I burst out crying.

If I got my “heart” from my parents, what about my siblings – did they also have this “heart” of gold?

The answer came: Yes.

If anything, my siblings were like me – kind. We may not be rich, smart, but kind yes. I remember I fell to my knees in shock/ humility/ gratitude and bowed to my parents even though they weren’t physically infront of me at that moment of epiphany. That day was the turning point in my relationship with my parents. There are reasons beyond our human understanding as to why/ how things happen the way they do – but it is not often within our human capacity/ reasoning to understand them.

And with this “heart” I received from my parents, I believe I have used it well – to help, serve, and support humanity. I’ve had my heart broken so many times by cruel people, ex lovers, and even supposed friends – but each time, I choose to tell myself to never give up on doing the right thing, take the higher road, and not to become bitter, angry, and jaded no matter what. I get to choose my attitude. This is why I believe I look better and better as I age – I am attaining a kind of ascension while on earth. Life can be “heaven on earth” no matter what the circumstances.

As a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist, I’ve learned to use my verbal and non-verbal communication skills. I’ve gained insights into the “hard” vs “soft”; and “direct” vs “indirect” ways to get through to people. I choose to help humanity – because there is nothing else I rather be doing. I was born to help humanity. I would die without regrets as I already live out my life’s purpose each day.

May my personal sharing inspire you to heal your own wounds from your family of origin; to choose the higher road; to take back the power that has always been yours to take. Namaste. I bow to the divine in you.