Over the last few days, I realise these are some things I don’t do anymore:

1. I don’t interrupt (I wait for the unfolding of people’s stories. I can tell if they are finished through their micro expressions, and don’t talk until they are completely done.)
2. I ask one question at a time.
3. I don’t think people who are fat are fat because they don’t take care of their bodies.
4. I don’t want friends who think people who are fat are fat because they don’t take care of their bodies.
5. I don’t think people who are in an open relationship do so because there is something wrong with them or relationship.
6. I don’t want friends who think people who are in an open relationship do so because there is something wrong with them or relationship.
7. I don’t feel/ think/ want to educate/ counsel people when I am not being paid for it.
8. I don’t try to persuade people who say no to change their minds (even if something e.g. attending an event is good for them).
9. I don’t feel/ think good-looking men who identify as gay as a waste as they could have made beautiful babies (I just admire them for their good-looks).
10. I don’t get angry easily and when I do get angry, I know exactly why and how to stop the discussion and/ or step away.
11. I don’t apologise when I am just speaking my truth.
12. If I did something out of obligation, I don’t allow myself to feel bad about it. I remind myself it is a choice, and do it as happily as I can.

I don’t do these anymore. What about you? What do you not do – that are a reflection of who are you now, and how you have evolved as a person?

Each of us have negative experiences/ traumas/ memories. We can heal ourselves. Unfortunately many people do not know how to let go of what doesn’t serve them anymore.

I created a free online series called Clean & Clear to share everything I know about releasing negativity in our lives. I hope you can subscribe to Clean & Clear here.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.