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Written on 6 July 2019
Do you respect people who look good?
Or somebody from how they would behave – kind, considerate, and poised?
Perhaps you admire people based on their body of work or how smart they are?
For most of us, it would probably be a combination of all of them.
I especially admire and respect people who are smart because this is what I value.
I’m at the Malaysia International Conference on Menopause as I write this.
I speak on “Sexuality Beyond Menopause” tomorrow morning 7 July.
I just had dinner with the other speakers of this conference.
I’m not sharing this to boost. I’m sharing this for sharing’s sake and maybe inspire.
Even after 10 years of clinical practice, worked with thousands of clients, and spoken by many medical conferences,
I still feel intimidated by the calibre of the people I now find myself in the company of – urologists, gynaes, surgeons, etc.
I’ve found them to be down-to-earth, nice as can be, witty, funny and inspiring.
I had no reason to be intimidated but I still was.
This has been helpful for me in coping with feeling intimidated with other powerful people in the room:
1) See them for who they are – the good, bad, ugly they present/ share
2) Draw inspiration/ learn what I can – making the most of the situation/ opportunity
3) Appreciate/ compliment genuinely – there is always good in us all
4) Let go of anything that is unhelpful – learning includes from the “bad” i.e. what not to do
5) Remind myself that they eat, sleep, defecate just like me – and they too have friends and family they love
6) Bring myself back to what I can contribute when appreciate – being in my womb space/ intuition helps
I would never have imagined this is what life I’d lead.
I started just wanting to help people to have better lives – especially their sexual lives.
Then I realised I couldn’t do this alone – I wanted to share what I knew with as many people as I can,
and never to say no to a speaking opportunity especially at a medical conference where I could support doctors dedicated to their craft.
I’m truly humbled and grateful for what I have, what I do, who I meet, and what is still to come.
I hope the above tips might be useful to you.
Perhaps you have questions/ thoughts/ comments? Or what else I could add to this list?
Let me know!
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
