This article first appeared on PublicHouse.sg.

As the only sexologist in Singapore, my work is incredibly isolating. I have joined several virtual communities for sexologists including those on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Yahoo, as well as the listserv managed by American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).

I wonder if you have a community of likeminded people supporting you in the work that you do. Whilst they are not your birth-family, you can still feel close to them, hence the term “spiritual family.”

In his book, Rich Brother, Rich Sister, Robert Kiyosaki suggested that you ask these four questions to find your spiritual family:

1) What am I willing to give up my life to? The moment you begin to find your answers, you will begin to find your spiritual family.

2) The second step involves a series of questions:

• If money were no object, would I continue to work at my job?

• If money were no object, would I work at my job for free?

• If the answers are “No” to the first two questions, then what would you work at forever and for free?

• If you are not willing to work forever and for free, then the chances are you have not yet found your soul’s purpose for your life. If there is something else you would rather do, maybe you should do it.

3) The third set of questions revolves around relationships:

• Am I working with people I love as much as I love my biological family?

• Do I respect the people I am working with?

• Do I trust the people I work with to have my best interests at heart?

• Is the product or service of the company I work for a product or service I am proud to produce?

4) The fourth and most important step strengthens your spirit, and is the difference between success and failure, and that is to work for free. When you give your gift to a higher purpose it strengthens your spirit. The more you give, the more blessings will come your way.

Needless to say, sexology is my higher calling. I do this work because this is what I am meant to be doing. I would do this work even if money was an issue, and I would do it forever. I already do it for free on some occasions. There is a dire need for real, meaningful, and positive conversations about sex and sexuality in Asia.

So do you have your spiritual family? What would it take for you to find yours?

Dr Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical counselling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia. For more, visit www.eroscoaching.com.