This article was first published on The Online Citizen.

Released in 1992, ‘The Best Things in Life Are Free’ is a song by Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross. The song went to number one on the R&B singles chart and debuted at number 24 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 the week of May 30, 1992.

Three weeks later, the song peaked at number 10 for three consecutive weeks. It was nominated for a Grammy Award for “Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals”.

Are the best things in life really free? (and if so, are they free in Singapore?) I list some of the things I think are best in my life:

Getting to my bus-stop,

… catching my bus at the nick of time,

… thanking the bus-driver,

… him smiling back,

… and finding an empty seat easily.

Seeing a needy person on public transport,

… giving up my seat,

… receiving a smile in return,

… knowing the gratitude is genuine and,

… feeling privileged to have been able to help.

On an ‘errands day’,

… feeling the warm sun on my back,

… completing all my errands quickly and easily,

… going home earlier than scheduled to rest.

On a sunny day,

… looking up at the sky,

… marvelling at the infinities of life and the possibilities it brings,

… being in awe of how the universe works,

… feeling content with all that I already have,

… knowing there is nothing I ‘need’ to be doing.

On a rainy day,

… being able to stay indoors,

… feeling safe and dry,

… knowing I can hop into bed to enjoy a nap,

… hopping into bed and taking the nap,

… hoping everyone else will be safe and if not, will find shelter soon.

Being at home

… listening to the remaining drops of rain,

… seeing the sun come out

… witnessing little birds coming out to play,

… doing a big stretch,

… hearing the bones of my back crack,

… feeling no pain.

Making someone laugh,

… a child,

… an audience member,

… my friends,

… my beloved.

At work,

… imparting useful knowledge,

… addressing misconceptions that have imprisoned them,

… seeing the glimmer of hope on the faces of clients,

… reigniting the sparkle of light in their eyes,

… liberating people,

… receiving appreciation.

Being on the computer,

… completing my latest article,

… receiving fan mail,

… clearing my emails

… being done for the day.

Being in my own bed,

… under my blanket,

… taking in its familiar smell,

… feeling the sheet underneath by sliding my leg back and fro,

… nodding gently to sleep.

Being in his arms,

… tilting up my face,

… smelling his aftershave in his beard,

… kissing it,

… feeling safe,

… feeling loved,

… whispering, laughing, giggling,

… enjoying it,

… loving him,

… knowing there is nowhere else I would rather be.

Indeed, the best things in life are cannot be bought with silver or gold. (As opposed to the philosophy espoused in the song “Money (That’s What I Want)”.)

For me, a perfect day is one I spend with my loved one unhurriedly enjoying every moment of what comes, where there is no need to ‘do’ and just being present. The best things in my life probably mean nothing to you. What truly counts must be the best things in your life. What might they be?

Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit www.eroscoaching.com or email drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com.